CHARACTER IS IN THE TRY
May is, apparently, mental health awareness month.
For those who struggle with mental health, we're very aware every day.
This last year for me has been full on mental health alert.
The highs and lows are very real, y'all. While both extremes do make me feel alive, level ground and steadier footing are what we're going after. And, it takes work.
While I climbed literal mountains this year, I climbed figurative ones, too. They feel pretty much the same. The trek to the top is hard. You have to really push yourself to keep going, keep working, one step at a time. It's rarely easy. We know the top is worth the effort, but when you're talking yourself into five more steps, it's easy to stop and say I tried. I can't. This is fine.
It takes a lot less effort to make your way to the bottom. Less time. Less energy. Attention. Work. And, before you know it, there you are. Wishing you were still up there. Now you know how good everything looks from the top.
I've been up and down the mountains a few times in the last year. Each time it does get a little easier. I'm more prepared. I know what resources I have. I know my way up. I also know my way down.
Listen, it's easy for me to sit here and tell you how I do it. It's hard to do those things in the moment. Everything everyone tells you is true. Take better care of yourself. Eat better. Exercise. Talk to someone. Medicate. Meditate. Breathe. Quit your job. Dump the dude. Stop talking to that person. Take this. Set boundaries. Don't eat that. Cut out toxic people. Do I even have to keep going?
I did end up doing and un-doing and re-doing all of those things. And while everyone means well, not everyone is willing to get down there with you and help you do it. That's the thing, when you're sick, you don't want to do anything. You often can't do anything.
And, people don't want to catch it.
We often self-diagnose and get confirmational second (and third and fourth) opinions about why you don't feel well. Often the prescription is delivered in a way that makes you feel like this is all your fault or not your fault at all. Let me tell you, it's kind of both.
If you want my advice, it's just...try. Try to do one of the things. Don't try all of the things at once. Don't make any sudden movements or overhaul your life. That's failure in the making.
Take yourself on a walk. Commit to a block. If you feel like doing more, keep going.
Treat yourself to something delicious and healthy. Like really go for it. Get inspired to find a way to re-create it yourself. Eat that more often.
Talk to your friends, family, whoever, and really be honest and really tell them what you need from them. If you don't feel good about that, pay someone to listen to you. There are plenty of resources for free and subsidized counseling and many of them will work with you on a sliding scale. Telling the truth is empowering even if it's to a stranger.
If the fog is heavy. Try medications. The first one might not be the right one. Advocate for yourself. That's empowering, too.
If you believe in it or have a sense of humor, try all the woo-woo, hippy bullshit. Buy all the crystals. Pull all the cards. Get a reading. Read the book. Download the meditation app. Whatever. Just try it. It's a hobby. It can be entertaining. It will teach you something.
Get rid of the toxins. One decision, situation, action at a time. I quit my job. It didn't fix me. I also had to get to a place where I was prepared to take on the responsibility of quitting my job. Cutting out the riff-raff people? That one's easy. You'll find they don't try too hard to come back.
Setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to articulate them and draw a perimeter necessarily. It means you approach every interaction in a way that's better for you. It means telling people "no". It means telling people "why" or "why not". It does not entitle you to be an asshole and ghost.
Each time you try and something clicks, you're moving up the mountain. You can't carry all that shit up there with you. The fog will start to lift. You will start to learn. You will start to get better. You might think you don't need any of the things anymore. You got this. And, you do. You will for a little while, but when it starts to get harder, now you know how to do things that help get you and keep you going.
I got to the top and somehow I ended right back at the bottom. It was defeating. I gave up. I got up. I started trying again. No fix is forever.
I've been tested. I've done some conquering. A little giving up, too. But, somehow I keep getting up. Out of bed. Up the mountain. Gone back to bed and back down. Sometimes in 24 hours.
I'm trying.
For those who struggle with mental health, we're very aware every day.
This last year for me has been full on mental health alert.
The highs and lows are very real, y'all. While both extremes do make me feel alive, level ground and steadier footing are what we're going after. And, it takes work.
While I climbed literal mountains this year, I climbed figurative ones, too. They feel pretty much the same. The trek to the top is hard. You have to really push yourself to keep going, keep working, one step at a time. It's rarely easy. We know the top is worth the effort, but when you're talking yourself into five more steps, it's easy to stop and say I tried. I can't. This is fine.
It takes a lot less effort to make your way to the bottom. Less time. Less energy. Attention. Work. And, before you know it, there you are. Wishing you were still up there. Now you know how good everything looks from the top.
I've been up and down the mountains a few times in the last year. Each time it does get a little easier. I'm more prepared. I know what resources I have. I know my way up. I also know my way down.
Listen, it's easy for me to sit here and tell you how I do it. It's hard to do those things in the moment. Everything everyone tells you is true. Take better care of yourself. Eat better. Exercise. Talk to someone. Medicate. Meditate. Breathe. Quit your job. Dump the dude. Stop talking to that person. Take this. Set boundaries. Don't eat that. Cut out toxic people. Do I even have to keep going?
I did end up doing and un-doing and re-doing all of those things. And while everyone means well, not everyone is willing to get down there with you and help you do it. That's the thing, when you're sick, you don't want to do anything. You often can't do anything.
And, people don't want to catch it.
We often self-diagnose and get confirmational second (and third and fourth) opinions about why you don't feel well. Often the prescription is delivered in a way that makes you feel like this is all your fault or not your fault at all. Let me tell you, it's kind of both.
If you want my advice, it's just...try. Try to do one of the things. Don't try all of the things at once. Don't make any sudden movements or overhaul your life. That's failure in the making.
Take yourself on a walk. Commit to a block. If you feel like doing more, keep going.
Treat yourself to something delicious and healthy. Like really go for it. Get inspired to find a way to re-create it yourself. Eat that more often.
Talk to your friends, family, whoever, and really be honest and really tell them what you need from them. If you don't feel good about that, pay someone to listen to you. There are plenty of resources for free and subsidized counseling and many of them will work with you on a sliding scale. Telling the truth is empowering even if it's to a stranger.
If the fog is heavy. Try medications. The first one might not be the right one. Advocate for yourself. That's empowering, too.
If you believe in it or have a sense of humor, try all the woo-woo, hippy bullshit. Buy all the crystals. Pull all the cards. Get a reading. Read the book. Download the meditation app. Whatever. Just try it. It's a hobby. It can be entertaining. It will teach you something.
Get rid of the toxins. One decision, situation, action at a time. I quit my job. It didn't fix me. I also had to get to a place where I was prepared to take on the responsibility of quitting my job. Cutting out the riff-raff people? That one's easy. You'll find they don't try too hard to come back.
Setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to articulate them and draw a perimeter necessarily. It means you approach every interaction in a way that's better for you. It means telling people "no". It means telling people "why" or "why not". It does not entitle you to be an asshole and ghost.
Each time you try and something clicks, you're moving up the mountain. You can't carry all that shit up there with you. The fog will start to lift. You will start to learn. You will start to get better. You might think you don't need any of the things anymore. You got this. And, you do. You will for a little while, but when it starts to get harder, now you know how to do things that help get you and keep you going.
I got to the top and somehow I ended right back at the bottom. It was defeating. I gave up. I got up. I started trying again. No fix is forever.
I've been tested. I've done some conquering. A little giving up, too. But, somehow I keep getting up. Out of bed. Up the mountain. Gone back to bed and back down. Sometimes in 24 hours.
I'm trying.
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